New Philosophy

Alright guys, new game plan. From now on out, I'm only gonna date guys that are 100% single. I've been told that this will lead to less complicated relationships. I wouldn't know, I'm just going by what I've been told. It's worth a try I guess.

But really, in all honesty, I'm slowly beginning to agree with April in that, an open relationship is just one step away from a broken relationship. Someone's gonna get the raw end of the deal. Most likely more than one person, but someones gonna get it worse of all. I would like to claim that award, two "relationships" running now. Maybe even three if you want to count Adam.

This is what I've observed about open relationships. They work perfectly, if no one involved gives a shit about anyone else involved. See, emotions make this a sticky operation. Someone's gonna care more than someone else, most often about someone else entirely.

The Open Relationship Proposer are often just greedy yet jealous bitches. (So far, I've only ever ran into OR's where the Proposer was the female. I've yet to see a guy that has successfully been a Proposer to a working OR.) The Proposer is looking for something new, but at the same time afraid to let go of the stability (also sex, money, status) of their relationship. To achieve this "something new" they implement the OR.

While the Second Party may meet this new idea with hesitation and doubts, as they should. The Proposer though, will assure the SP that this is not a break up, but a new way to explore their options. Perhaps even suggest that it's away to spice up their relationship. The SP may feel that if they don't go along with the Proposer that the relationship will end. Through pressure, they are broken down by the Proposer and eventually give in to the idea.

Or they may just be excited about getting to sleep with more people. Either way, they agree.

In the beginning, it'll be exactly just as it was. The Proposer, while looking, will most likely not venture out too early on. The SP is comforted by this and convinces themselves that they're alright with the arrangement. They are also given the assurance that they're are free to date others outside the relationship as well. Time passes, and slowly, the Proposer will begin to start to date others.

The length of this next stage is determined mainly by the SP. The Proposer will continue on, not truly realizing the mess that they've created. They become more and more unattached to the SP, while not necessarily more attached to any others. They become comfortable in this zone of delicate stability. They are free to do as they please, but are still given foundation of a relationship. They will stay in this zone as long as possible.

It is up to the SP when this is ended. The SP has at this point convinced themselves that they're okay with this, at least to the point that it doesn't sound like a lie when they talk about it with others. They themselves have decided to venture outside of the established relationship. They are cautious about who they pick, for they don't want to offend the Proposer.

Sadly, it most likely wont matter in the end who they pick, the Proposer will not like it in the least. If more than 3 dates happen between the SP and the Pick, the Proposer will notice and keep an eye on the happenings. Depending on if sex occurs and the time the SP and the Pick spend together, feelings my develop. The Pick will, in many ways, begin to offer what the Proposer has taken away with the OR.

Threatened, the Proposer will start to demand more time with the SP. Shoving them back into a more monogamous relationship, while never actually ending the OR. The SP though, will continue to see the Pick, because a bond has been established there. The Proposer will then decide to make a more dramatic step, demanding exclusiveness within the relationship.

Forced with the demand, the SP will feel rushed and cornered. Typically though, they will chose the Proposer, because of the established history. The Pick, sadly, never has any say in the matter.

Here, a more typical pattern will emerge. The newly Exclusive Relationship will be stressed in the first moments of it's life. Neither will want to upset the other, wanting to "make things work". In time things will become comfortable. The SP will settle in and believe they made the right choice. The Proposer, though, will remember the freedom and become restless again.

This pattern will continue, till the SP either becomes fed up, or the Proposer finds their own Pick, which they feel would make a better ER. Either way, this specific ER is doomed to fail. It's only a matter of time.

Remember kids, an open relationship is just one step away from a broken relationship.